Alegoria da roda dentada

Imagem mental: Duas rodas dentadas. Cada uma tem uma pega que a faz girar. Separadas são completamente inúteis. Juntando as duas e rodando as pegas no mesmo sentido as rodas encaixam e criam sinergia - movimento. Existem problemas no entanto.
1º - as rodas dentadas têm de ter um tamanho similar, senão encorre-se no erro da roda mais pequena ser suprimida pela maior, esta última tem o trabalho todo e acaba por gastar-se a si, assim como tornar a menor inútil com o tempo pelos seus dentes sobreporem-se à mais pequena. Dá-se a inércia devida a incompatibilidade.
2º - as rodas tem o mesmo tamanho mas existe algo que se encrava entre as 2 e se as duas rodas não tiverem força suficiente para partir o objecto k se entalou entre elas... inércia devido a terceiros.
3º - uma das rodas gira mais depressa que a outra e começa a haver um desfazamento no suposto movimento harmonioso ( quase simbiótico ) das rodas acaba por não acontecer porque uma não acompanha a outra gastando-se uma mais depressa que a outra e acabando por deixar de haver um encaixe. Inércia devida a forças maiores.
A perfeição da alegoria reside na capacidade de encontrar a roda dentada perfeita para a nossa, alimentá-las com uma qualquer energia e criar um rodar conciso e regular tendo sempre em conta as pequenas avarias que podem suceder, tendo cada uma das rodas a capacidade de acompanhar o desacelerar e acelarar de cada uma das rodas. A simbiose perfeita.
Agora mudem as rodas dentadas por pessoas.... Resultaria em qualquer relação humana?
E esta hein?
Há coisas fantásticas, não há?

Luta de Titãs

No canto branco, Rui Gonzaga Almeida, medindo 1.80m e pesando 40kg.
No canto negro, neoplasia, medindo a amplitude do universo e pesando o infinito.
1º Round- Rui leva uma pancada seca nos intestinos de neoplasia e fica estendido no tapete a tentar recompor-se... O árbitro faz a contagem. 10, ... os espectadores aplaudem ao ver Rui a levantar-se, a encher-se de força e, com a força da Humanidade põe Neoplasia K.O.
2º Round - Desta vez, Neoplatsia não está para brincadeiras. No ano anterior viu-se humilhado por um ser tão insignificante e volta agora com ódio nos olhos.
O sino toca, Rui desvia-se mas, Neoplasia acerta-lhe em cheio no peito, colapsando um dos seus pulmões e Rui cai ao tapete deamparado. Começa a contagem: 10, 9, ... Rui levanta-se e cambaleando reune a força k só ele tem e projecta a neoplasia até ao canto onde esta fica confusa, tremendo e acaba por ficar inconsciente.
Mais uma luta, mais uma vitória.
3º,4º,5º,6º,7º,8º,9º Rounds - O Glorioso RUI GONZAGA ALMEIDA vai resisitindo à força cada vez maior de neoplasia, muitas vezes deixando os espectadores boquiabertos com a coragem perante uma luta tão desigual.
10º Round - Neoplasia ataca Rui onde este se encontra mais fragilizado, numa altura em que o seu corpo já não é nada senão um réstea de pele e de ossos, no outro pulmão. Rui resiste com a ajuda do O2 mas a Neoplasia espera ansiosamente pela sua companheira morfina, e quando esta desorienta Rui, Neoplasia ataca e Rui vai ao tapete para nunca mais se levantar.
A Natureza irrita-se perante a injustiça e aquando da despedida do Titã Rui, descarga uma fúria como há mto não se tinha visto. Espectadores de todo o lado, tocados pela força do Titã Rui, reunem-se para a derradeira despedida, os corações unem-se num choro silenciosos em uníssono quando o Titã é deitado para o seu descanso final, e ao verem a terra a tapar o seu herói, vê também a ser tapado um sentimento que o Titã sempre despoltou em nós: a esperança.



Tio/Padrinho: Onde quer que estejas, onde quer que tenhas ido, e mm que nunca tenhas conhecimento destas palavras, adoro-te como sempre te adorei e serás sempre um exemplo da força e coragem humana que tantas vezes nos falha em situações verdadeiramente ridiculas.
Tu e a tua história viverá quando servirás de modelo de força, garra e coragem perante os meus filhos e os meus netos.
U WILL LIVE ON!!!!!

Virtual Crush

The other day my mom asked me if I would move away from Leiria if I met someone over the Internet and fell in love with him. I said no, but it dwelled in my mind. I've always been all for love and doing what's needed to encounter it. But could I put my professional life on hold for a virtual crush?
I really do have one, but he doesn't seem to see things the same way I do. Although I think we go together like honey and bee's. But he never asked. I presume it never even crossed his mind. He lives a solitary life and enjoys it. Who am I to disrupt that?
And then again, can't the crush be platonic? What if he isn't all he seems to be? what if the distance makes us cling to one another?
Why doesn't he think of moving here? The distance is the same as are the risks...
Better just forget it... I'm heading for another heartbreak...

Too much information (vide processing information)

I'm close to a meltdown. My head aches. Too much information for such a numbded skull. Friends that are very hurt in hospital. The coming decision of a possible second operation... New friends that say they're in love and i don't want to hurt. Co-workers that ignore me because they're falling in love and that i don't give 2 shits about, but the workplace is loaded with a darkness that weighs upon me daily. Give me a break. Tired of childishness...

A psichologist that seems to need a little bit of help himself is giving us formation every Tuesday... Hate the lack of humbleness. The not respecting what each one feels or thinks without knowing the backround. Arrogant bastard! Crazy people. Aren't we all a bit banana's?

I really do hate having someone see me inside out without my consent. If i'm to be analized, I do think i have a say in the matter. Hate the feeling of being emotionaly "undressed" by someone i don't know and don't trust. That second guesses everything i say and does not agree with MY OPINIONS.

I might have very little left in my psique but my opinions are still mine and no one has the right to tell me I can't think the way i do. Unless, of course, Eduardo, people i respect and adore in which i trust and don't mind "undressing" myself for their apreciation.

Anyway i'm overloading and tired. Too many schemes around me. Too many whipers and laughter. Not concerning me, but, HEY!, we see in the back of others our own.

Tirsom to be seen as a lovebale object when i'm not prepared or do not want to love... Damn! So tired. So alone...

No! I'm not depressed. At least my brain is coming alive slowly but surely. But it hurts. I mean phisicaly hurts. I get headaches from all the thoughts I have to process at once. Got to get used to the big wheel again,i guess.

System overcharging... Meltdown eminent...

Processing information...

Damn it's been a while since i've written in this "pukebucket".
What's new? Where to start? Unbelivable, there are actually new facts in my life.
In retrospective:
- I've got new fun and interesting friends;
- I told my ex-boyfriend to fuck off cause i can't take him anymore, even as a friend e sucks big time... ( What was i thinking those 6 years??? );
- I got a job. It's no dream job or even something that I really enjoy doing, but, hey, you got to start somewhere and after 2 miserable years waiting to be usefu, it's something;
- I've had some experiences with guys but nothing worth being mentioned;
- I have a male friend I think I'm very in sync with, although I know for a fact he will never see me as a possible girlfriend. No matter, guess it's just that way and I really am sick of people underapreciating me and I think he's one of those....
- Guess what???? I might or might not be operated again... LOL... I know that's no news but at least i'm being seen by a surgeon...
Anyway, all this to say that i'm feeling a little bit more optimistic towards life although i'm still sceptical about everything starting with the opposite gender and ending with my really really recent job (3 days) :S....
So, I'm processing information...

What doesn't kill u makes u stronger...

True. But when the hurting get's to this point, it makes u stronger to look death in the eye, defy it and, finaly, rest in it's arms.
It's true. It must be scary looking death in the face but all the hurt that strengthened u up will come in useful because u will look at the grim reaper and open ur arms to him and just surrender,
Sometimes some battles weren't meant to be won and whilst fighting death we know it will ultimately beat u.
There's no shame in giving up, in throwing in the towel and hanging the gloves.
Sometimes we just don't have it in us....

And yet it happens again...

Guess i'm a sucker for punishment... I give myself to people hoping that as they see me bare chested they will undersatnd me and follow a straigthfoward and linear relationship, being aware of the wounds that i have yet to heal...
But no... 2 days pass and they stick their finger in the wound making it bleed again and there i have to go and try to patch things up...
Why? Why do i do it?
I've lived enough to know that people aren't worth it and give up on me as soon as they realise i have many needs. I'm too much of a bother... I'm a lot of work and effort... Why waste their time if they can get the same thing but with an empty head?
Much easier....
I sometimes feel like hitting myself for still believing that there are people that care about others!!!
There aren't. They're too busy worring about themselves and what is easier for them.
I don't fit in in this world.
What the fuck am i still doing here?!?!?
Death, come swiftly and carefully. I'm waiting.
For u i have the patience to wait....

Halitose...

É incrível como características físicas nossas podem ser tão comuns à nossa personalidade...
Ter as gengivas infectadas e cheirar a podre pode mtas vezes ser incomodativo, mas pior é quando a personalidade transborda de mentiras, inconformidades e pura merda!!!!
Como é possível sermos uma núvem que flutua em vidas como um vai vem de esperteza e bem estar e dp, PUF, desaparecemos deixando só as réstias do cheiro a Halitose e Gengivite...
Que merda de vida a minha... Mas deixa lá, que merda de vida a tua tb!!!

Relax, don't be so anal....

Funny how sometimes words u say are said back at u after a period of time. U come to realize that when the words came out of your mouth and were directed at another, they seemed so easy to follow through and when the other denied and said that he was unable to do what i recommended, i would scorn him and feel sorry for such a stupid soul.
Guess the stupid soul now is me. He is happy in his small and uneventful world and I am lost in my big empty one.
It's true, don't spit in the air, it WILL come right down "smack " your face...

Though i walk through the Valley of the shadow of death...

I still encounter good souls. Souls that would have been my friends lifetimes ago. But now they pass me by like spirits in their own world, not even knowing i exist. Or not even caring about the person that is laying on the street asking for a helping hand just to get up on their feet.
Some even tread over him, and don't even say their sorry.
I float above their heads watching them live their lives and time goes by.
A mere observer. That's what i am. A vouyer.
I watch and judge. I re-live what i did lifetimes ago and mock the mistakes they're making and feel, like my own, the pain that is coming their way.
The good souls. Oh, the good souls, those are the ones i thrive upon. I love watching as their goodness is ripped away from them and they are torn to bits by the crows.
It's delicious to see how the crows peck at them and leave them with no eyes in their sockets. And I watch as the man who sold the world, laughs with full lungs 'til tears fall down his face and he grabs his stomach for it aches because of how much we laugh about the the naive people and the poor minded. The fools... Free will... HA. HA. HA.
God's ultimate joke!
Gotcha!!