And yet it happens again...

Guess i'm a sucker for punishment... I give myself to people hoping that as they see me bare chested they will undersatnd me and follow a straigthfoward and linear relationship, being aware of the wounds that i have yet to heal...
But no... 2 days pass and they stick their finger in the wound making it bleed again and there i have to go and try to patch things up...
Why? Why do i do it?
I've lived enough to know that people aren't worth it and give up on me as soon as they realise i have many needs. I'm too much of a bother... I'm a lot of work and effort... Why waste their time if they can get the same thing but with an empty head?
Much easier....
I sometimes feel like hitting myself for still believing that there are people that care about others!!!
There aren't. They're too busy worring about themselves and what is easier for them.
I don't fit in in this world.
What the fuck am i still doing here?!?!?
Death, come swiftly and carefully. I'm waiting.
For u i have the patience to wait....