Withering away...

I sit in the attic and look at the last flower you gave me... As time goes buy it's withering away almost as if it's a symbol of the memories in my mind. Every second that passes makes me want to leave you behind. Every moment, every breath of a word, every song, every whisper...
SSSSHHHHH....
Can't you hear it? Time going by and memories dying?
When was the last time you let me dream? How long ago has it been since I've had myself to myself? Without the ghosts that scream in my brain and make me think about what was and of what could have been?
One day that flower is going to die. It's going to give up and just let itself go... I wonder of I'll be able to do the same? Will you ever die in me head? Will I ever repair the damage I've done to myself? Will I recover my faith in mankind? Will I ever give myself away again? WILL I? WILL I?
This question goes out to the ones I loved and that have turned their backs on me...
Shall I thank you for all the misery you made me go through? Shall I apologize for not being like you? Shall I see the passage of your presence in my life as a lesson? Should I blame you or myself?
If any one of you knows the answer, and you know who you are, all of you, please do share... I don't have the answers anymore. I always had the right answer didn't I? Part of my brilliance wasn't it?
Who will answer me now?